Thursday, June 18, 2009

My children are the only gifts I need for Father’s Day

Holt International Children’s Services asked me to write a piece for their e-newsletter, something timed to Father’s Day. Since I rarely shy away from a chance to write, I agreed. The result is below. This is my original version; it may be slightly different from the version Holt published. Enjoy.
And Happy Father’s Day.


By TERRY R. CASSREINO

MADISON, Miss. (Thursday, June 18, 2009) – Camryn sat in my lap on the carpeted floor of our master bedroom and begged me to talk about the upcoming China adoption trip my wife and I were planning.

Her excitement had been building for months, ever since Pam and I learned in June 2008 that we were matched with a little boy through Holt International Children’s Services Child of Promise program.

“Tell me about my baby brother,” Camryn, 3, said as she smiled and laughed. “Talk to me about Matthew. Is he going to be big? Is he still a baby? Can I play with him?”

It was Sunday, Nov. 30, 2008 – two days before Pam, my wife, and I were scheduled to leave Jackson, Miss., on our 24-hour flight to Beijing, the first stop on our nearly three-week adoption trip.

We already had been to China once before in March and April 2006 to adopt Camryn. And now we were heading back for our second child, a little boy who had a club foot.
Hearing Camryn’s excitement didn’t surprise me at all. We had been talking to her about Matthew for weeks to help her prepare for his arrival and ease the transition to having a second child as a member of our family.

Smooth transition

We’ve been back from China since Dec. 18. Matthew has been a part of our family for six months, bringing joy and love to everyone. He has adjusted incredibly well to his new home.

Surprisingly, Camryn has adjusted incredibly well to Matthew.

Watching Camryn, who turned 4 on April 5, and Matthew, who turned 2 on March 16, play together would lead you to think they were biologically related.

Nothing is more touching than watching Camryn sit on the floor of her bedroom, open a book, point to the pictures and create a story for her brother as if she was reading the words on the pages. Matthew sits quiet and attentive, listening to every word.

Being a father came late for me, just like my marriage. Both have been a huge blessing.

Pam and I met in 1997 when I was 36; we married in 1999. When it became obvious we weren’t going to have a child naturally, we chose to adopt, hooked up with Holt International and the rest, to use a trite phrase, is history.

I’m 48 now – and probably will be the oldest parent in our children’s PTA organization. But that doesn’t bother me; you are only as old as you feel and act.

I know I speak for my wife and myself when I say that raising two children under 5 will keep you young at heart and young in mind. Children are wonderful; they never cease to amaze.

Typical challenges

Our lives have seen the typical challenges of most parents: Making sure our children eat right, trying to choose the right day care and treating the typical childhood illnesses and colds.

We also do other things, such as ensuring Camryn and Matthew know and learn about their Chinese culture. And we are helping Matthew correct his club foot, which hasn’t been that much of a problem at all.

With Father’s Day fast approaching, my children are more on my mind than usual.

Our family is in the process of moving to Southeast Louisiana after I accepted a job in New Orleans and began work there in May. Camryn and Matthew stayed home with my wife, helping prepare our house for sale and packing for the move.

Obviously, I haven’t seen my wife or my children that much the past month. And I may not see them again until we actually move to Pearl River, La., in early July.

But if ever I feel overwhelmed in my new job or stressed by the impending move and sudden changes in our lives, I often think back to that Sunday in Madison before our trip to China to adopt Matthew. And I smile.

That’s the only gift I need for Father’s Day

“Tell me about my baby brother,” Camryn said as she looked into my eyes. “Talk to me about Matthew. Is he going to be big? Is he still a baby? Can I play with him?

“I can’t wait for my brother. I can’t wait for Matthew.”

Text and photos copyright 2009 by Terry R. Cassreino. All rights reserved. May not be duplicated or republished without consent in advance.